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lyrics

Went to see my doctor and he’s looking at my file
“Your vaccines have expired, friend,” he tells me with a smirk
He asks me, “How long’s it been?” I say, “I guess it’s been a while,”
Then he tells me he’ll be right back—“why don’t you go remove your shirt?”
Well I don’t pretend to know how long I waited in that room
Telling myself not to fret, pretending to be brave
By the time he made his way back I had made peace with my doom
Forgot all about the needle and was ready for a shave
(he says, “you ready?”)

I’m ready now, I’m all set
As I ever was, as I’ll ever get
I’m ready now as I’ll ever hope to ever be again
Good or bad or just okay
I’m ready for it either way
So come on—hurry up—alright already—give it to me, then!

Rose was in her senior year when I started at her school
Her boyfriend, Joe, was captain of two athletic teams
She was nothing like me, she was popular and cool—
the most beautiful woman my young eyes had ever seen
Joe was always cheating, Rose would hear it from his friends
So she’d recruit some freshman to do damage to his pride
And once it was my fortune to be selected for revenge
She said, “You ready for your only chance?” and I eagerly replied:

chorus

I took my darling out to eat the evening before last
To celebrate our five year dating anniversary
I was wondering how her day went and was just about to ask
When she said, “If you’re going to propose, you’d better get down on one knee,”
Well I had no intention of asking for her hand
And told her so, at which point she excused herself to cry—
While she was gone the waitress slipped me her old wedding-band
Said, “I don’t need this anymore, why don’t you give it a try?”
(when she came back, she said, “you ready?”)

Chorus

The night before our wedding my fiancé and I
Got into a fight so bad we thought the plug was pulled
She left the rehearsal without so much as goodbye
I thought it just as well—my feet were getting plenty cold
That night I didn’t sleep at all but I knew I’d been a jerk
I called her up next morning but the number wouldn’t dial
I went to see her parents, they told me, “Try the church,”
I found her waiting for me at the far end of the aisle

Chorus

Well I came into some money so I thought of buying up a home
Scoured the whole city, found one place I could afford
I put the offer in soon as the bank approved my loan
But the owner’d already promised it to some millionaire landlord
When I knew that I had lost it I felt sort of relieved
I remembered I’m a rambler, never lived anywhere too long
Then my realtor called me up he said he had news I’d not believe
turned out the seller had a conscience and he’d sell it for a song—

chorus

Well I went to see an old friend on the night before he died
He’d been diagnosed with cancer and wasn’t looking at all well
He’d just turned ninety-seven was paralyzed all down one side
Said “I wish someone would have the courage to help me get out of this hell…
He said “I was born in 1918 and I roamed this whole world round
I was married to my true love, we raised a family best we could—
Some are grown and some are growing, some are gone the way I’m bound
But all things considered, I think my run’s been pretty good—”

Chorus

credits

from Unravelled Tales - Volume 2, released July 24, 2021

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Sam Steffen Boise, Idaho

Sam Steffen is a Pennsylvania-bred, Boise-based singer-songwriter whose songs are the torch-wood for a new generation of folk music that has learned from the best stuff in the tradition and aims in spite of everything to keep the human spirit alive and kicking. A versatile musician and skilled finger-picker, Sam is at heart a story-teller, and a prolific one. ... more

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