We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Since You Been Gone

by Sam Steffen

supported by
Martha Cichelli
Martha Cichelli thumbnail
samsteffen
samsteffen thumbnail
BoyC
BoyC thumbnail
mmmbarnuts
mmmbarnuts thumbnail
Magicrat
Magicrat thumbnail
William Steffen
William Steffen thumbnail
/
1.
Since You Left (Ain't Nothin Been the Same) 05:35
lyrics
buy track
The water tastes like metal and the coffee tastes like paint And everything I eat these days makes me want to faint I went to see my doctor and I told him my complaint He said it ain’t your tongue that’s broken, it’s your brains— It gives me cause to wonder, or should I say, to doubt Whether its even blood that’s flowin in my veins Everything was goin one way now it goes a different route And since you left ain’t nothing been the same The colors on my pallet have all gone and changed their hue My yellows ain’t so yellow and my blues are darker blue The poetry inside my books just doesn’t ring as true Each familiar thing now strikes me as strange Everywhere the sun is shining but a clouds formed over me And I moved here just to get out of the rain I don’t know if it’s a secret plot or some conspiracy But since you left ain’t nothing been the same The windshield’s got a crack now and the front door’s got a creak The lamp it has a busted bulb and the faucet’s sprung a leak And my entire outlook onto life’s grown pretty bleak I spent my mornings watching things go down the drain I don’t know if it’s coincidence, bad luck or even fate Tho I’m afraid I’m hardly able to explain The smallest shred of sense I can’t configure or create But since you left ain’t nothing been the same Rivers used to lead to oceans, now they flow right to their source Birds used to fly south in the winter, now they’re headin north Time, she walked a tightrope, now she’s swining back and forth No sand inside the hourglass remains I’m still fighting the old demons, the Mondays and the blues Tho the upper hand I no longer seem to gain All the things I once relied on now reject me or refuse And since you left ain’t nothing been the same My feet, they roam the ceiling, and my head, it scrapes the floor Today I tried to go outside but I coulnd’t reach the door I don’t think the laws of gravity are workin anymore What goes down once can still go down again But don’t worry bout me darling I think I’m starting to get well I’m sure that someday it’ll all be plain You came to me so gently that the change was hard to tell But since you left ain’t nothing been the same I’m easily distracted, my mind is all off track I still think of you from time to time, wonder if you’re comin back I left a candle burning and a key under the mat With a note on which I didn’t put your name If you come acallin for me and I don’t answer right away It ain’t because I’m angry or detained Probably I’m just trine to think of something new to say Cause since you left ain’t nothing been the same
2.
Hell of a Day I'm Havin 06:01
lyrics
buy track
Woke up this morning to a rooster crowing The sails were set but the wind wasn’t blowing It was the middle of june and it was already snowing I should’ve known something was wrong Rolled out of be put my shirt on backwards Pulled my pants on first and my underwear aftwards Slipped on the stairs made a whole in the plaster Right where your portrait belonged Went down to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee I poured it, stirred it, then spilled it on me Went to make it again but the can was empty All I could do was scowl It seems like I can’t do anything right I go to bed early lay awake all night I’m afflicted by forces that I just can’t fight Might as well throw in the towel But what a hell of a day I’m havin If this is some kinda joke, man, I ain’t laughin I know worse things have been known to happen But they ain’t been known to happen to me Drivin to work my front wheel exploded It seems the tire pressure had been overloaded That the fault was mine has been duly noted The tow-man told me so Got into the office a little behind schedule My boss thought my tardiness was intentional Said the time’s come for me to do what’s sensible Gave me the old heave-ho Got home early met my girlfriend leavin Said she didn’t have time to go into the reasons Said that there was something else that she was needin I said “What about me?” she said, “No—” And it feels like I can’t keep anything straight I pay up-front face-value at the goin-rate But its always just a little too little too late Either too fast or much too slow Chorus Preachers and teachers, they taunt and test me The neighbors complain and the cops arrest me And every person I’ve ever loved has left me What’s that supposed to say about me? I was disinvited to a colleague’s wedding It seems I couldn’t prevent an ugly rumor from spreading I receieved a memorandum with the following heading You and me, pistols at dawn I showed up late but I brought my seconds We shook hands quickly and chose our weapons Threw up a coin and it just went on flippin Til all our hard feelings was gone Seems like I can’t follow anything thru I wake up from a nightmare and it just comes true Meanwhile everything beautiful reminds me of you Like a star I keep wishin on Chorus New York Times said the end was nearing Paper hit my porch as the smoke was clearing I’s trine to decide if the sound I’s hearing Was in or outside of my head Sun came out around eleven thirty I tried to see through the flames but my glasses were dirty I cried out for help but nobody heard me They probably all thought I was dead I dragged myself out of the smoldering rubble Out of the frying pan headed for trouble Spent my life on the sea, just to drown in a puddle I swear you couldn’t make this stuff up I just can’t make up my lost mind it seems Whether I’m goin or coming apart at the seems I might be a ghost you know that all that it means Is that I just can’t let go Chorus
3.
The Whereabouts of His Forgotten Mistress 06:08
lyrics
buy track
So you’ve finally made your peace with those you used to go ahead and make your wars with I knew you had it in you babe to lay down your sword upon the shield you prayed and swore with Tell me, can you name the thing it was that made you want to go and change your old ways for forever? Were you makin adjustments just now when you saw me, or were you just trine to prove that you were clever? Last we met as I recall you inquired of the whereabouts of your old lover A man they called by many names and titles that changed as he roamed from one town into another Your man I know I met one night though I admit it only was in passin I asked him straight up who he was and like you said he would, he asked me who was askin I said to take his pick of names, he could call me what he liked for all it mattered He gestured to a curtain near a window the behind of which a mirror had been shattered We were in the this hotel bar and seemed the only travelers there who needed restin I could tell he crawled a thousand miles by his feeble face and the beggars rags he dressed in For a time we spoke of nothing and only said the things that never needed sayin Of how he never meant to leave but had to get back to fleein from the debts that needed payin He said he sposed you’d sent me to find out what became of that widowed heart’s disaster He said a thing to say to you I couldn’t hear over the thunder’s raging laughter So now I’ve circled back to you, you know that you’re as hard to find as he is I tried to trace the love you lost and all I got for clues are my own ideas But what I still can’t figure out is why you want so bad to know he’s out of rations As if to know he’d settled down and were fine somewhere were the worst thing you could imagine I’ve crossed the deserts wild and come within an inch of the maw of the volcano I’ve poured the legends tall and drunk them deep and know as well they never stay the same though Been up and down and lost and found and run around back and forth all across the country I’ve consumed what’s been presumed to be too much, stood up and still been hungry Now I don’t mean to speak for you, for who am I but a lowly bounty hunter I’ve been paid to make my way and find out what I can by the contract that I’m under But if you could within your heart try to make a place that wasn’t such a prison Perhaps you’d have no need of me and we could both of us just get back to livin
4.
Talk To Me 04:58
lyrics
buy track
How’m I supposed to know that you’re angry? How’m I supposed to know you’re unhappy? How’m I supposed to know that it ain’t my fault? You’ve spoken your piece and look, you’ve gone silent Put down your fists, no need to get violent You opened the wound, and now you’re just adding salt Til the whole conversation’s been ground to a screeching halt Honestly— I can’t see— how you ever got to be—so like a rock That short of a contract deal— that don’t make anything anymore real— somehow you still feel— You can’t even talk—to me You’re never around on the evenings or weekends Your secrets unfold as your mystery deepens the crease of your letter was known to be uncommonly sharp I’m past any hope or cry of remembering like a ripening tear in the duct, you’ve been trembling but tell me again, and forgive me—I’m still in the dark I can see now what Time will do, yes, it’s left its mark & I’ve been briefed Not to turn over a new leaf Cause it won’t bring no release—to a way that’s been blocked But can’t you understand It’ll be out of my hands How you gonna make any new demands If you don’t talk—to me? I tiptoed around and I bent over backwards Walking on eggshells, I examined your hazards Raking your bed of coals just brought me to thin ice— So take all the time in the world that you’re needing I’ll be alright, it’s not like I’m bleeding Go and be a good to yourself for once in your life You don’t need my permission, you don’t even gotta think twice I’ve been advised Not to apologize Tho I don’t think it’s wise—and frankly I’m shocked That that could be so clear To someone who ain’t right here Who don’t know the fear—that you’ve apparently got And I don’t want to pry I don’t want to be “that guy” Cause I know you’re shy—and I guess I’m not But I’m on my knees It’s my only need Please, please, please—won’t you talk—to me?
5.
It's You (You're Grieving Now) 04:30
lyrics
buy track
Time passes so slow when you’re trying to rise—and you’re sinkin You wish you were moving on, but you got nowhere to be—and you’re thinking You grieved with everything you had Every beat of heart you could allow— But even doing it all for him In the end still wasn’t enough somehow— cause it’s you— It’s you— —you’re grievin now The record’s stuck in the groove, repeating a phrase—and you let it The young man is making his move, he gives you his word—you forget it You’re still hung up on a choice you made That you’d’ve undone if time had allowed But even if he were here Don’t you think he’d be able to point it out: That its you— Its you—you’re grieving now The faucet’s screwed to the sink, it ain’t going noplace—but its drippin The rope’s tied fast to the weight swinging high overhead—but it’s slippin You know you shouldn’t feel bad And you tell yourself like you was making a vow Your sorrow’s the size of your love for him Just like you always knew it was, somehow But it’s you— It’s you—you’re grieving now Once you’d do anything to relieve all the pain—you were feeling But now you can’t bear to think that numb’s all you are—and you’re healing Perhaps there’s been some mistake It’s all been an act, and here comes the bow— The dead will exit the stage Leaving the audience better off somehow But it’s you— It’s you—you’re grieving now
6.
Losing You 06:50
lyrics
buy track
It’s been a while now since the last time we talked But I been tracing your footsteps in the paths that we walked And I been kicking myself cause opportunity knocked— And I didn’t know that it was my cue And I’m remembering things that I shouldn’t’ve said Thinking bout what I could’ve told you instead It makes me wish sometimes that I were actually dead Rather than merely regretful and blue The cracks of my fingers the rain’s fallin through What is it exactly you want me to do? Maybe I’m losing my sane point of view But it feels like—I don’t know It feels like—I don’t know It feels like I’m losing you— It feels like I’m losing you you changed all your habits to suit your new friends To whom you were never more than a means to an end You’re much further gone than even you can pretend Yet you make believe none of it’s new And you stand by and watch as your handiwork spoils: As your patience expires and your temperature boils and from your tenderest gesture the medusa recoils as if to say it already knew I’ve examined the floorplan the architect drew Seems its somekind of labyrinth we’ve been wandering through And maybe I’ve lost the thread that this needle went to but it feels like—I don’t know it feels like—I don’t know it feels like I’m losing you you take on too much, you’re like a martyr at dusk the things that you once believed in you no longer trust the machinery to help you has taken on rust and you’ve bitten off more than you can chew But when I saw you this morning—you seemed in a good place You had a spring in your step and a smile on your face I thought you’d be shipwrecked but it wasn’t the case I wondered just what had come over you? this war has been raging too long now, it’s true what was my little big horn was your waterloo sure, maybe I won me a battle or two but it feels like—I don’t know it feels like—I don’t know it feels like I’m losing you it feels like I’m losing you
7.
If I Ain't Got You 04:10
lyrics
buy track
Got no money in the bank; got no gas inside my tank I’ve only got myself to thank that I’ve got nothing left to lose But even if I owned a stitch, somehow got lucky, struck it rich Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you The doctor he reviewed my chart, the nurse she listened to my heart They asked me bout my history and then both of them withdrew I’m told that they’re comparing notes, but I still ain’t been diagnosed Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you The judge he made the jury rise, recite the verdict, improvise It came as no surprise to me that nobody had a clue The prosecution made a move for what nobody had to prove Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you King Solomon he did command that every person in the land Should be rounded up and counted with the riches he’d accrued When he’d totaled all that he owned, he just hung his head and moaned: Lord knows, I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you There came a crying from the earth, there was a death, there was a birth I neither could determine nor decide just what was true The only thing I know for sure, hatred dies, love endures Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you When in trouble hope for change, if in doubt pray for rain When in Rome, the tourists say, do as the Romans do But if you won’t give me this dance, please allow me just one more chance Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you Lord knows I ain’t got much if I ain’t got you Bridges: You’re the only thing that keeps me on the even keel Who tells it like it is when it just don’t seem for real You’re the bridge over the highway of a life that I ain’t crossed Without you I am no one, I am nowhere, I am lost You’re the reason anything in this crazy world makes sense Without you life’s a catalogue of random accidents Causes that have nothing t’all to do with their effects Dots scattered in a universe that no one else connects
8.
Keepin Busy 08:13
lyrics
buy track
Friday night, my baby came home just as tired as could be I asked her how her day was she said she didn’t want to talk to me I said how come and she got mad, said cause she was all worn out And she comes home to find me here sleeping on the couch I said, Baby, Darlin—you know I ain’t been here all day I been busy too you know while you have been away “Oh really?” she said, “Is that so? Well in that case I’d love to hear Just all about the things you did while I wasn’t here” I did the laundry, the dishes, I filed the taxes / sent out my resume with necessary attachments I swept, scraped and mopped the floor / fixed the old hinge on that creaky cellar door I sent a get well card to your ailing brother, I called and spoke with your ex-step-mother She said to tell you she’s doin fine, I told her you’d give her a call sometime I raked the leaves, cleaned out the gutters, painted the door-frames and the window-shutters I filled out applications for a half-dozen jobs, groomed the cat and walked the dog I borrowed a mower from the next door neighbor / cut the grass in our yard and in his, as a favor I cleaned the garage, the attic, the basement / retarred the driveway with quality pavement I got the kids up, dressed em, made em breakfast / took one to the doctor, one to the dentist I made their lunches, and gottem to school, picked em up and took em to the swimming pool I made a list and went grocery shopping, ran seven miles without even stopping Somewhere in there, I pulled a muscle, did a whole Sunday Times crossword puzzle I entertained visitors, gave em a tour, I found that lost earring you been looking for I took out the garbage, brought in the mail, I sold a lot of your junk at a neighbor’s yardsale I hung your portraits after getting them framed, I organized the spice rack alphabetically by name I vacuumed and dusted every room and surface, gave every useless trinket a purpose I found what was wrong with the garbage disposal, I proof-read and edited your meeting proposal I cooked your favorite meal: vegetable lasagna, set the table and then waited on ya I went to the post office and then to the bank, went to the gas station, filled up the tank Then I came back home and cracked open a beer, and that’s the whole story of how I got here And look, I know it don’t look like I done too much, and I haven’t, don’t get me wrong— But I been keepin busy, trine to keep from goin crazy— Yes, I been keepin busy, since you been gone But it was no use, all my explanations, they were to no avail Time after time, again and again it seems no matter what I do, I fail She said she was very sorry, but she didn’t see us working out And just like that she showed me the door and said, “Alright now, get out!” For a while I was miserable, I couldn’t seem to catch a break I didn’t know how much worse it could get, or how much more I could take Then one day she called me up, said it had been too long a time When she asked me how I was doin, I told her I was just fine I invented my very own dietary supplement, I took up yoga, achieved enlightenment, I burned all those letters that I never sent you, finally read all those books I meant to, I got membership cards to every local library, I memorized the Oxford English Dictionary I rented every movie at the video store, watched em all twice, some three times, some four I joined a gym, lost a few-dozen pounds, believe me it was a lot harder than it sounds, I rode my bike all across the country, saw how folks was living in the 21st century I worked some farms and at a couple of factories, water treatment plants, fishing hatcheries I grew my hair out, then shaved it short—let’s see what else is there to report I learned to count cards, took up gambling, traveled all over, roaming and rambling I started a business with the money I won, then sold it to invest in another one I went back to school got my degrees, my bachelor’s, master’s and a phD I was nominated for a couple awards for accomplishing the things I’d put my mind towards I finally learned how to cook and to bake, there’s practically nothing now that I can’t make I apologized to every person I’d wronged, finished my memoire, wrote a few songs I penned several drafts of my last testament will, Lord knows I’ve sure had some time to kill But say how are you doing with your new life? Looks like you’ve merrily been getting along Yes, well I been keepin busy, trine to keep from going crazy Yes I just been keepin busy since you been gone
9.
Anywhere But Here 06:42
lyrics
buy track
Now I am a taker in this hard-up world, the fortune-teller told me first She proved it to me when I took her word for every penny it was worth to this day I still can’t say how it all first came to her so clear when way back then I was on my way—to anywhere but here I’s born a long ways from my home, but I been bound there ever since And I’s made to walk the road alone, in fact, I’ve leapt at every chance I’ve lost count of both my friends and foes, I can’t keep track of every fallen tear Good and bad, they come and go—they’re with you anywhere but here some folks they live in stacks of brick, some in cities of cement for a long time I was most at home whichever way the railroad went and every time that station whistle’d call, the sound was music to my ear the trains they come from no place at all, bound for anywhere but here It was easy going for a while, I’d say—that is, until the road got rough And I earned my money in a honest way, until I didn’t have enough When the time was ripe to make a break, my engine stalled in second gear I might’ve settled for a simpler fate, one that put me anywhere but here well I found myself in some trucker bar where the beer was pretty cheap I drank my fill and went to pay and learned my purse was not so deep They took what I owed them out of my flesh and threw me out upon my ear Said I was welcome back anytime—that is, anywhere but here I always dreampt I’d wind up some place, where all there’d be is time to kill But where I’m from dreams get replaced by working dayshift at the mill And the work is hard, and when you’re through, you look back on your career The old men say it’s all okay—somewhere, anywhere but here I swear there’s nothing I got left in store, I won’t hand you no excuse Please just don’t hit me anymore, I can’t take no more abuse yesterday’s is too far gone, and tomorrow’s never near you can’t never change the road you’re on—when you’re not anywhere but here I’s never much of a praying man, the Lord I’d never cause to fear But if you’re somewhere up there, Old Man, here’s one prayer I hope you hear If I go gently in the night, or hard, falling down upon my spear lord, when I die, please just see that I—wind up anywhere but here
10.
Now That It's Over 05:37
lyrics
buy track
How you gonna stand there and act like it don’t matter When with every passin second here, I’m just getting sadder? You don’t owe me anything, your debt’s as good as paid You don’t gotta follow through on any of the plans you made You can come out from your hiding place, pick up the traps you’ve laid Everywhere throughout these fields of clover Now—that it’s over How you gonna stand there and tell me you still love me When all the while you just been holding sharp and heavy things above me? You can take down your battleflag, saddle up your mule Put your needle in the cactusplant, and the thread back on the spool You don’t have to be afraid now, baby, you can play it cool Resume your role as the ice queen of October Now—that it’s over How you gonna stand there and ask me now for money And say, what are you laughin for, do you think that this is funny? You said you’d always be there for me anytime no matter what You said you’d come and save me if I needed you to, but I can see that what was in your heart’s just moved into your gut You don’t have to get clean for me, or sober Now—that it’s over How you gonna stand there and pretend you didn’t do it When you had it comin to me the whole time and you knew it I don’t have expectations anymore ever since I’ve gotten wise To your elaborate deceptions which you so cleverly disguise You think you’re seein clearly but you got wool over your eyes You needn’t look to see what’s just behind your shoulder Now—that it’s over How you gonna stand there and say things’ll all be different When you don’t have the heart to say it ain’t good when it isn’t? I’m no longer keeping promises—it’s never done me any good All that being honest’s shown me is that I’ve never understood I did it all correctly but my reputation’s in the mud I’m not making anymore unwarranted disclosures Now—that it’s over How you gonna stand there and make like you’re the victim? When you went out looking for a fight, you found em and you picked em? Considering the circumstance, it’s a wonder you don’t feel A little more responsible for your part in the deal The water flows beneath the bridge, and fortune turns her wheel I’m not getting any younger here, only older Now—that it’s over How you gonna stand there and just tell me to forget it? When it’ll turn into the end of the whole world if you let it? The credits here are rolling everybody’s free to leave You played the game by all the rules and you got your reprieve You outghtta be more cheerful you got no reason to greive You don’t have to stand there stone-faced like a soldier Now—that it’s over How you gonna stand there and say this ain’t the ending? Do you mean to say that all along this time you were pretending? I’d prefer it if you didn’t drag this out into a scene You don’t have to clarify, we both know what you mean You can take what’s left of what you own, there’s nothing else to clean You can leave the coals inside the stove to smolder Now—that it’s over

credits

released February 14, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Sam Steffen image

Sam Steffen Boise, Idaho

Sam Steffen is a Pennsylvania-bred, Boise-based singer-songwriter whose songs are the torch-wood for a new generation of folk music that has learned from the best stuff in the tradition and aims in spite of everything to keep the human spirit alive and kicking. A versatile musician and skilled finger-picker, Sam is at heart a story-teller, and a prolific one. ... more

contact / help

Contact Sam Steffen

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Sam Steffen, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Featuring Riley Pinkerton (aka The Rat Queen) from the theatrical NYC rockers, Castle Rat.
listen now