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lyrics

For all of the lies that I told
For getting away with the fast ones I pulled
Persisting, even when it got old
For leaving you standing alone in the cold
For holding back when you asked me to share
And for wrecklessly leading you on
For promising you I would always be there
The list, I suppose, it goes on—
For all of our planning on things working out,
we’re just not very lucky, are we?
That it won’t make it up, I haven’t a doubt,
I just want you to know—that I’m sorry

For all of the pain that I caused
for burning the map and then getting us lost
for refusing to pay what it cost
for helping them nail your hands to the cross
for hearing you loud and clear when you cried
and keeping myself hidden from sight
for never once ever taking your side
even when I knew you were right
I know it’s too late to take anything back
And for new words it may still be too early
But for whatever it’s worth, if it has any impact,
I just want you to know—that I’m sorry

For leaving it all up to fate
For devising the trap and laying the bait
For offering too little too late
For destroying the plans that you tried to create
for being the one who was never around
and accusing you of disappearing
for ruthlessly kicking you when you were down
and afterwards trying to be so endearing
The time of the day I don’t even deserve
But I don’t need it, I’m in no hurry
I know that you think that I’ve sure got some nerve
But I just want you to know—that I’m sorry

for wanting you to be like you were
for acting so childish and so immature
for expecting you to be pure
and treating you like you were part of the tour
for letting you fall when you needed a hand
up from the floor you were sweeping
for pretending that I could not understand
the language in which you were speaking
I know that my efforts have not been enough
A gentleman I have been, hardly
But before you go writing me entirely off
I just want you to know—that I’m sorry

For totally wasting your time
For being unwell, saying that I was fine
For feeding you all the old lines
For failing to make you a priority of imine
For doing the absolute least I could do
And not even without complaining
And for taking even your umbrella from you
The minute that it started raining
If you don’t ever want to see me again
And if you never ans—wer me
I’ll understand, but I might as well then
Tell you now fore I go—that I’m sorry

For making you miss the last train
For keeping the torch lit for an old flame
For driving you slowly insane
For making you guess instead of saying it plain
For treating this all like no more than a fling
As you asked: O why must you tease me?
And then when it came time to do the right thing
For doing instead what felt easy
I know in the past, when I’ve said this before
Your silences have frequently scarred me
I know you can’t put up with me anymore
I just want you to know—that I’m sorry

For utterly failing to learn
For leaving long fore the meeting adjourned
For making you wait for your turn
To be treated decent, like it was something you’d earn
For salting the wound, and fueling the flame
Adding insult to your injury
for whimpering whenever saying your name
And making sure that you heard me
Your more patient with me than anyone else
I’d’ve featherd and tarred me
But this time I ain’t gonna ask for you help
I just want you to know—that I’m sorry

For throwing you under the bus
For staining your pride and abusing your trust
For making you feel that you must
For ditching you in a cloud of my dust
For gorging myself, meanwhile letting you starve
like some well-wishing judas
For handing you over to the people in charge
While you kindly mistook me for Brutus
And nevermind silver, nevermind gold
I’d’ve done it for thirty denari
And if it’s the last thing I ever tell to the world
I just want you to know—I’m sorry

credits

from At Least There Will Be Love, released July 31, 2016

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Sam Steffen Boise, Idaho

Sam Steffen is a Pennsylvania-bred, Boise-based singer-songwriter whose songs are the torch-wood for a new generation of folk music that has learned from the best stuff in the tradition and aims in spite of everything to keep the human spirit alive and kicking. A versatile musician and skilled finger-picker, Sam is at heart a story-teller, and a prolific one. ... more

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