Grandma's Famous Chicken Noodle Soup copyright sam steffen '14

Well I went to visit grandma just the other week,
she seemed so glad to see me doin well
She didn’t look so bad herself for a woman of her age,
that she was almost 93 you’d never tell

Well we got to catchin up a bit as it had been a little while,
granny said she’d done a bit of traveling of late
I figured she meant around the house or down the road a little ways—
that was my first mistake

Said she’d been all over Europe, all through England and through France,
said she’d swam across the Adriatic sea
Then she came back to the United States and she visited each one,
and then got home just in time for hostin me

well every story that granny told me seemed a little more surprising than the last
til finally I had to interrupt her at some length
I said, Granny, I believe you, but I just have to ask
What is the secret to your strength?

She said, “Aw, well that’s an easy one, you know I always watch my weight
And I’ve always kept my posture good so that I wouldn’t stoop
I take vitamins and exercise and every day I have one bowl
Of grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup”

Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
It’ll cure blindness! It’ll make you whoop (Wahoo!)
Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
Why, it’ll almost make you young again

Now I must say when granny said all this my curiosity was aroused,
I said, Now of what does this here said soup consist?
Before she even answered me she said, “Would you like a taste of some?”
I shrugged and said, “Well, if you insist.”

Then she went over to the fridge and she pulled out a great big pot
That looked to be leftovers from the latest batch
And takin off the lid she exclaimed, “Darn—fresh out!
Not to worry though, we’ll just start again from scratch!”

Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
It’ll cure baldness! It’ll make you whoop (Wahoo!)
Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
Why, it’ll almost make you young again

Well the first thing that she did was bring some water to a boil
Added salt and pepper and vinegar and a little gin
In another pan she heated up a little bit of olive oil
Then she cut up an onion and some veggies and threw em in

Then while all of that was cookin she went out into the yard
Told me to keep an eye on that there bubbling broth
She came back in with a live hen, tossed it whole into the pot
Didn’t even kill it first or take its feathers off

And before I could object, she had left the room again,
Went and gathered every soiled bedsheet in her home
And when all the laundry was collected she nonchalantly stirred it in
Said, “It’s like killing two birds with one stone!”

Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
It’ll cure arthritis! It’ll make you whoop! (Wahoo!)
Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
Why, it’ll almost make you young again!

Well, when she had taken out her laundry and had hung it out to dry,
She said, and now we’ll add the noodles to the mix
But upon inspection of her pantry, not a morsel caught my eye
Granny looked and said, “Well aw—fiddlesticks!”

Then a look came over granny that was at first desperate and then fierce
Then she snapped her fingers and said she knew just the thing
She said, “Well you’ve got shoes on,” I said, “Yes, and what of that?”
She said, “Well—get em off! We need them strings!”

Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
It’ll take the paint off—it’ll make you whoop (Wahoo!)
Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
Why it’ll almost make you young again!

Well when everything was in there and it had simmered for a while,
Granny stirred it up and said it was almost done
Then she got me out a bowl and she got me out a spoon
And said, “I’ll bet you just can’t wait to try you some,”

Now I’ve never been a one to treat my elders with disrespect
And I’ve never been one to deliberately seem rude
But after seeing what I had of those ingredients and all,
I should have hesitated to call what that was food

So I said, Granny, I’m obliged, but I think I’m gonna pass,
She said, “Now, I don’t want to hear none of that there lip!”
She ladeled me a bowl and set it down and crossed her arms
I gulped and shut my eyes and took a sip of

Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
It’ll clean you out—it’ll make you whoop! (Wahoo!)
Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
Why, it’ll almost make you young again

Well the next thing that I knew I was passed out cold upon the floor
Granny was standing over me, saying, “Do you know where you are?”
I said, “Go and get a doctor,” but she had no phone or car,
And so she carried me all the way to the E.R.

Few days later I was better all laid up in my hospital bed,
The doctor said he’d never seen a case so bad
He said, “I mean it’s like you were poisoned or something!” I said, “Yeah, pretty much,”
He said, “Do you know what you ate?” I said, “All I had was

Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
It’ll give you courage—it’ll make you whoop!
Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
Why it’ll almost make you young again!

Well granny came to see me later on that afternoon
Brought me some flowers and some home-made medicine
She said, “I have no idea how you got so sick, but this here will cure you sure!”
I rolled my eyes, and said, “Here we go again—”

Grandmas’ famous chicken noodle soup
Some say it’s a blessing, some say it’s a curse
Grandma’s famous chicken noodle soup
It’ll cure you—if it doesn’t kill you first!