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Someone Else's Blues

by Sam Steffen

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1.
All I Want (Is To Sing the Blues) copyright 2014 Sam Steffen I don’t want to say I’m sorry I don’t want to make it better I don’t want to tell you I was wrong I don’t want to be a grown-up I don’t want to write no letter I don’t want to show you I can be strong All I want is to be left alone For to lick my wounds and nurse my bruise To get old quickly and remain unknown But to sing—the blues I don’t want to listen to ya I don’t want to be there for ya I don’t want to reach out no helpin hand I don’t want to hear what you think I don’t want to owe you nothing I don’t want no one to understand All I want is to be sent on home For my behavior to remain unexcused To reap far less than what I have sewn But to sing—the blues I don’t want to keep my voice down I don’t want to hold my head up I don’t want to play the game no more I don’t want to hold my tears in I don’t want to keep from hurting I don’t want it to go on like before All I want is to roll my stone To know my fate ain’t mine to choose To lose my joy along with all I own But to sing—the blues
2.
Jericho 08:02
Jericho copyright 2014 Sam Steffen From inside the walls through the chambers and halls every call falls in deafening echo Back onto the ears of the ones still in here whom the system condemned from the get-go Hear tell of a place where no man has a face on account of his case was mishandled Its called Jericho it’s the old status quo it was left long ago undismantled But the day soon shall come when each voice raised as one Will erupt from the crowd in a shattering sound And the trumpets will blow and the warden will know That the walls of Jericho must come down They step off the trains and they’re put into chains and their names’re all changed into numbers It’s all an attempt to make someone exempt from recognizing himself in another The one who presides presumes to decide that who lives and who dies is up to him Its based on the facts but the conclusions, they lack all the feelings they used to get to em But the day soon shall come without lifting a gun Every voice will the edge of the city surround And the trumpets will blow and the judges will know That the walls of Jericho must come down They’re poor to begin they’re taught they can’t win when they’re brought in it aint to bear witness They’re deemed by a judge unfit to be much, call it justice but its just a business The prisons’re run by the corporations so your freedom’s the price of a profit And no one’s to blame cause to them it’s a game, trying to fill in a bottomless pocket But the day soon shall come where by ceasing to run We’ll not be turned back nor told to turn round And the trumpets will blow, and the lawyers will know That the walls of Jericho must come down They’re brought into here to do what it ain’t clear to where no one can say what he’s seeing They’re hated and scorned and their cries are ignored and they won’t hear the words human being The cycle won’t break it accounts for mistakes and it knows that you’ll make and repeat em But the killers ain’t killed so long as they’re killed and the prisons’re as filled as they need em But the day soon shall come when the songs that we’ve sung Will within every breast alight and resound And the trumpets will blow and the hangman will know That the walls of Jericho must come down The fence is so high now it blocks out the sky and it blackens the ground with its shadow The birds can’t get out there’s nothing to doubt and the horses have fled from the meadow Hear tell of a spot where a man is forgot spite of whether or not they convict him Its called Jericho it’s the place that you go from the criminal into the victim But the day soon shall come where by beating the drum Every voice from the silence shall again be unwound And the trumpets will blow and all you will know Is that the walls of Jericho have come down
3.
Someone Else’s Blues copyright 2014 Sam Steffen Last time we talked we didn’t say too much I don’t guess Something about how maybe we were finally getting to be a little bit too old for this There was a little bit of time yet then wrapped around your wrist The end of the autumn in a November evening mist But you should’ve seen your face that day it was the color of the gentle rose you wore in your lapel While the captain raised a clamour and the widow clanged that old church-bell They say lightning never strikes the same place twice And I’m standing here thinking if it struck anywhere, just once would be more than nice If I were not me, and you were not you And we did not both know what we’ve both been through I guess then I’d just be in someone else’s shoes I guess I’d be singing someone else’s blues Your eyes once in a fleeting car moved past, and I swear I only caught the briefest glimpse You did not see my standing on that street-corner to which by the way I have not been back since I used to go out wandering from drug- to department-store thinking maybe that I was the one who’s not who he sposed to be anymore But it’s not an easy thing I don’t guess, to know you were not born alone and when You can still go anywhere but you can’t go home again They say lightning never twice the same place strikes They say there’s no difference at all between some look alikes If I were not me, and you were not you What would there be left for us to misconstrue Two vacant seats now in that old church pew For someone else to sit with someone else’s blues Tomorrow we’re gone, at least today we’re still here And you can still see the sun in that mud-puddle of yours that you call a mirror Remember the time we got so turned around and ended up in some old playhouse? And before the last act we both left to let the midnight river serenade us? Come out, come out, wherever you are, the children scream The games they play reminding us that this is not just some crazy dream They say lightning never twice strikes the same place As though when you try to repeat, all you do is erase If I were not me, and you were not you And we had not drifted the older we grew I guess then I wouldn’t be here trying to choose Now between mine and someone else’s blues Those were the days of the wind and the rain The only difference is that now, well, they’re exactly the same I sent you a letter a while back just to see how you are And can you still play piano on that old worn out guitar But you should’ve seen your face that day it looked not a thing like mine Why’s it always the common sense that says it’s alright to just be yourself sometimes Lightning never strikes the same place twice, they say But even if it did they might not believe that anyway If I were not me, and you were not you Not I would not want not to not be not you The hardest part about lovin you Is that it has never been that hard to do
4.
27. That Girl I Was Tellin You Bout copyright 2014 sam steffen You will know her by her eyes that will see right through your disguise You will know by the way that the room falls away After she walks through the door That for all that you’ve said about love’s being dead You’re not sure you believe anymore And should you decide that not to have tried Would afterwards only upset you inside Don’t come crying to me, wanting to see, as if there could be any doubt Whether that was the girl I was telling you bout You will know her by her voice that will ask but will leave you no choice You will know by the wish that she beckons you with By the way she says please to your lighter That even if she says no, that she don’t want to go She don’t want you not to invite her And should you admit it’d’ve been much better to quit Before you went and got yourself all mixed up with it I won’t say I was right, and I won’t pick no fight, but you know that I might have to shout That that was the girl I was telling you bout You will know her by her hands that not even she understands You will know by the length of time that it takes To collect yourself after she’s left you That you gave up too much in exchange for a touch That never consoled or caressed you And if now and then you think you might do it again If only this time to be prepared for the end Well I guess that’s too bad you can’t want what you have but you know that I’m glad you found out That that was the girl I was telling you bout
5.
Mr. Wait-&-See copyright 2014 Sam Steffen Met a lady at a party she was hardly my type But she invited me closer and I said, alright Underscored me, ignored me, and she bored me to tears But of all gazes hers was the gentlest Had me over got me sober even gave me a key As she pulled the rug out from under me Tried to sit up tried to get up to pick up the debris But the odds they were stacked up against us Well you know me, Mr. Wait-and-see, Mr. Cant-you-please-be-somewhat-kinder As I’ll know by the sun when the morning has come I will know my true love when I find her I been put up, I been stood up, been let up and let down I been told to pick up and get out of town Rejected, disrespected, and neglected so oft I can’t tell anymore if you know me At the station congregations destinations unknown Either tell me you love me or leave me alone Among maestros in her plainclothes while the train pulls away She says you don’t have to pay what you owe me Well you know me, Mr. wait-and-see Mr. there-is-no-joy-separate-from-sorrow And just like I would trade every heart for a spade For yesterday I’d give all my tomorrows Well it’s lonely having only your memory to keep As though I’d awakened to find that I was asleep In the darkness cold and heartless will you part with your half Whose hands were the words that you whispered with Was I dreaming, am I reading too much meaning into it? Did you intend what you offered before you withdrew it Do you miss me? Dismiss me? Would you kiss that mouth now Whose words were the hands that I begged you with? Well you know me, Mr. Wait-and-see Mr. upright-with-impeccable-posture As you’ll not know the word for the thing you’ve endured You’ll not know your true love til you’ve lost her
6.
Where Are You, Matthew Searfass? Copyright 2014 Sam Steffen Matthew he’s a friend of mine, used to put him up from time to time Used to lend him nickles, quarters, dimes and dollars Never had too much to say, went step by step and day by day But soon every man must stray from what he fallers He always did alright in school never made the team but he played it cool Each exception only breaks the rule it learns on One day he got the thought to leave, shoved all his tricks in up his sleeve He told them all one day they’d see he’d be gone Matthew, where are you? Matthew, where are you? Matthew, where are you? Where are you? Can’t be sure but last I heard he was in a psychiatric ward And he’d only sent home word so he could blame ya Return address said San Marcos, letter said he was headed for the coast Anywhere, he said, that’s nowhere close to Pennsylvania I’d know him now no more than you, couldn’t find him if I wanted to I tried it once, without a clue to guide me Just followed in his footsteps some, tried to get behind the sun But just got lost without someone beside me Chorus You left your home and left no trace for supper they still set your place Fold their hands and all say grace without you Your father still sits up to dawn in his bathrobe with his porchlight on And folks they say he carries on and on about you And LeeAnn she still thinks of you, wonders what you’ve been up to Says I only wish I knew that he was breathin And your mother she’s still sleeping sound six feet underneath the ground And once a year they all gather round a grievin Chorus Matthew, do you still recall comin here with me when we were small You wrote your name up on the wall in marker Matthew won’t you please come home or try to find a telephone Cause the days are getting shorter now, and darker Matthew, are you cold tonight, can you find your way without the light Do you see the star that’s shining right above you? Matthew, can you keep em shut, your ears from hearing you know what They know you’ll never need it but they love you, I know you’ll never want it but I do, too Chorus
7.
Never Again Would Be Too Soon Copyright 2014 sam steffen My mother was a shadow, or so I’ve heard the story told My father rode the saddle, he never came in from out the cold And I was born one hazy midnight, into a blanket I was rolled Left upon a stranger’s doorstep when I was fifteen minutes old Folks think that if I could find em now, I’d want to see em, they presume Well as far as I’m concerned, I say, Never again would be too soon Never again would be too soon Never again would be too soon I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to go and leave my home Whether on account of cause I always was, or else cause I was never left alone Seems like every town I come to now is like every other town I’ve known I come just long enough to learn of one more thing I’ll never own And somewhere tween the sweepin floors and getting beaten with the broom I say if I come back here anymore, Chorus Well I loved a girl in New Orleans, although her name I don’t recall She was kind and good to me, I was no good to her at all I remember one night we’d just come back in from a ball She had taken my possessions and locked them in the hall I asked my girl how long it’d be for she’d let me back into her room Well as far as I’m concerned, she said, Chorus Well I found me a friendly Christian, said I could stay with him for cheap Said there was only one condition under which that contract he would keep Said I had to start to livin clean, said he’d test me every week Told him not to worry tho, I could do it in my sleep Things were fine til they got hard again, and he found my needle and my spoon I asked him when he’d let me back, he said, Chorus I killed a man in Kansas, I killed one in Tennessee Both times I was as sorry as a man could ever be Somewhere on the highway the law apprehended me For one I got life in prison, for the other the death penalty I asked the Lord if when I died he meant to raise me from my tomb And something in the silence said, Chorus Well I don’t know who I’m talkin to, I gues it doesn’t matter now Anyone with ears’ll do, if the timin will allow I’m only trine to figure out if there’s some way out of this somehow If I never asked for help before, well, I’m sorry, but I’m askin now The warden says my time’s been moved, so now I’m due to die at noon, So if you’re wondering when to pray for me Chorus
8.
In No Hurry Now copyright 2014 Sam Steffen Loved a girl once with all my heart I told her so right from the start Eager to unite, we fell right apart I should’ve seen it coming Tried again though, the second time was worse The world’s a stage, but you can’t rehearse Goin forward’s the same as in reverse With maybe one exception— that I am in no hurry now I am in no hurry now I am in no hurry now I am in no hurry now Had a hometown where I grew up tall It had commercial industry and basketball Public school and a shopping mall I ran away so often Left home early so as to beat the rush My bike broke down, I had to catch the bus It went the wrong way, I should’ve known as much But since then I’ve been riding—for Chorus Had a car, I drove it fast I had appointments to keep, I gave it gas I had a best friend, he had a crash Since then things have slowed some Thought I knew what all my time was for My life seemed finished, I was twenty-four I went out looking for what was here before Turns out the whole world’s fast and lonesome—but Chorus Chorus
9.
A Series of Failed Attempts At Getting Over Loving You copyright 2014 Sam Steffen Lately I’ve been visiting a stranger, he says that he’s a doctor of a psychiatric nature He asks me all about you, he says I need a hobby, says it will make me happy to keep busy for a while He only asks me things I know, he says that it’s important, though I wish instead of asking he would tell me what to do He’s so encouraging, as if he thought I could make anything Besides another failed attempt at getting over loving you Lately I’ve been looking at the stars, trying to learn the constellations, making observations I know Orion by now, and Cassiopeia, and I’ve a pretty good idea where the Big and Little Dippers are But astronomy is not for me, as anyone with eyes can see I could watch that sky until the midnight turned to blue And even if I knew the myths, what would they all leave me with But another failed attempt at getting over loving you? Lately I’ve been smoking long cigars, I imported them from Cuba, from Barbados and Bermuda I’m not sure I like the taste of them, the sticky burning flavor, tho I’m quite fond of the paper that they wrap them in But who am I trying to kid? I don’t like smoking and I never did And I don’t give one good Goddamn about where my tobacco grew And even if I smoked incessantly, what would it only ever be But another failed attempt at getting over loving you? Lately I’ve been reading Russian novels from the latter nineteenth century, mainly Tolstoy and Dostoevsky Sometimes I think I feel the same way as the characters they mention, who love in violent passion and dismay Who always seem to know what’s best, who get what they want and then get depressed Who suffer, bleed, and fight and die in search of something true But every time I reach the end, I realize all my reading’s been Is another failed attempt at getting over loving you Lately I’ve been seeking some vocation, I need a new bad habit, I’m afraid I still don’t have it yet I’ve tried coin- and stamp collecting, chocolate and wine tasting, bicycle and horse-racing But I bet the coins on a losing horse, the stamps I sent to you, of course Along with all my letters and every chocolate that I knew And the wine that used to fill my shelf, I drank it quickly by myself In another failed attempt at getting over loving you Lately I’ve been listening to music, I’m learning the piano, I’m really not that good, tho I can play a couple major chords, a few scales in the minor, I find the latter kinder to me But what is all my practice for? I’m not improving, of that I’m sure And I don’t know the song to play that has my kind of blues And even if I found it out, what would I have to sing about But another failed attempt at getting over loving you?
10.
A Talkin Man’s Talkin Technology Blues copyright 2014 Sam Steffen Other day I got a phone call from a friend of mine, Friend I ain’t seen in the longest time Said he’s passin through town, like to pay me a visit He says, you’re not busy, Sam, it’s not inconvenient is it? I said, Busy? Boy it has been a while I ain’t been busy since the late 1990s I said when’ll you be here, he says, One day or the next Says, how bout when I’m close I shoot you a text I said, What? He says, I’ll send a text-message I said, And what’s that, exactly?—Sounds impressive He says don’t tell me you don’t get text messages I said, of course I do—post man brings em all the time He says, What’ve you been doing man, where’ve you been Don’t you know what year it is? It’s 2014! Now I don’t mean to startle you, but I’ll make no apology But there’s a thing we’ve got now it’s called modern technology I tell him I’ve heard of that—science fiction and whatnot Gene splicing—animal cloning—drone strikes He says Not all of it’s bad for your information Some of it’s improved our communication I say, And how’s that?—he says, Well, for instance Like you and me here, we’re talkin long distance I asked him where he was calling me from He said he’s sittin on the toilet in an airplane Flying over the Atlantic ocean at a cruising altitude of 22,000 feet He says cell phones make it easier to keep in touch With friends you don’t see or hear from much Then he accuses me of being a reclusive-type Then he says, Hang on a minute, I’ve got to wipe I wonder at what point does information Become too much information A minute later he comes back on Picks right back up with the thread he’s been on Says it’s also made working a breeze I can talk to whomever wherever whenever I please I made the mistake of asking him what line of work he was in nowadays He says he’s a telemarkerter for Verizon Wireless Cell phone salesman—spokesperson Well at no promptin of mine he starts to striking a deal Lays it on me, goes into his spiel He says, Do you ever find that your signal’s weak And you’re getting cut off every time you try to speak? I said what signal? I’m talking to you on a landline Rotary telephone, circa 1948 He says, Now hold the phone—let me get this straight, You don’t even have a cell phone, am I hearing you right? I’m about to respond when he says, Hold the line I’m getting a call on the other line Talk about getting cut off— seems sometimes good reception’s not about where you’re talkin but who you’re talkin to I tell him to call me back, he asks for my number I said You’re the one who called me, remember? I asked him how he found me after all this time He says he looked me up in the phone book—online I said man, I remember when the yellowpages were actually yellow And actually pages, too! Well I hang up and wait for him to call me back And I’m waiting a while, a whole month, in fact One day the phone rings, it’s my old pal He says, Sorry about that, I been tied up a while Talking to friends, relatives, callin up strangers Makin sales First thing he asks me is did I get his parcel I’m about to say no when I hear the doorbell Sure enough it’s the postman right on time, He’s got a package for me, shows me where to sign And it’s a cell phone, complete with phone, charger, instruction manual, Service guide, return policy, insurance policy, etcetera… I said what’s all this, he says No need to thank me, But welcome, at last, to the twentyfirst century He says now I don’t have to sit at home Whenever I want to use my telephone He says you’re a free man, liberated from the cord Welcome to the world of wireless I ask him how much am I gonna have to pay To live like him in the technology age? He says it varies but it’s likely to cost Anywhere between thirty and a hundred bucks That’s per month, though, he says—but just think of the benefits! Unlimited minutes, roaming, plus texting I open the box, remove the packaging foam There’s nothing inside even looks like a phone Just a slab of metal the size of a bar of soap I said, You are kidding me, right, I hope Where do you aim your mouth on this thing? Which end is the listening end? Durn thing doesn’t even have buttons on it! Well he explains to me how to turn it off and on Gets into an explanation that’s a little overdrawn All about how its not just a telephone Its also a camera, a computer, a thousand things in one You can record a video and send it in an email with a message attached And you don’t even have to get out of bed—talk about shared experience Well I tell him I appreciate everything he’s sayin, But I just can’t buy in to this game he’s playin And I certainly don’t understand the attraction To a device that can only cause you more distraction Make you a rude theater-goer, an even worse driver Pretty clumsy pedestrian, too I tell him, don’t get me wrong, I’m not ungrateful I guess there’s a couple ways this could be useful I tell him I got a door in here that’s always swingin open I been meaning for a while to prop it open with something This looks like it’d be just about the right size Make a good paper-weight, too

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released April 2, 2014

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Sam Steffen Boise, Idaho

Sam Steffen is a Pennsylvania-bred, Boise-based singer-songwriter whose songs are the torch-wood for a new generation of folk music that has learned from the best stuff in the tradition and aims in spite of everything to keep the human spirit alive and kicking. A versatile musician and skilled finger-picker, Sam is at heart a story-teller, and a prolific one. ... more

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